Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC Last week’s episode was the perfect mix of emotion and humor. The humanity of Jay was really touching, in both his reminiscences of the dissolution of his marriage, and his care of Gloria’s feet. Don’t Trust The B …, 9:30 p.m., ABC “Meatballs!” Seriously, if you are not watching this – why not? And thank goodness, it has been renewed! Criminal Minds, 9 p.m., CBS Season finale — and for all you fans of rampant misogyny, this has been renewed.

NCIS, 8 p.m., CBS It’s finale, finale, finale this week all over the schedule. In tonight’s season finale here, “Shaken by terrorism, the NCIS faces devastating surprises; the case impacts Jimmy Palmer's destination wedding.” At 9, the two-hour season finale of the LA version offers this: “Callen and the team pursue a criminal mastermind motivated by revenge.” America’s Got Talent, 8 p.m., NBC San Francisco! So many unique and talented individuals here. Private Practice, 10 p.m., ABC The switch to Tuesdays has not been kind to this tired dishrag of a medical drama, but fear not the few of who…

America’s Got Talent, 8 p.m., NBC So this is a conundrum for me. I adore AGT. Love it. Watch it faithfully with the kids. But … I detest Howard Stern. Like, with all my heart. Like, deeply. Like, a lot. I’d rather French kiss Piers Morgan than support anything connected to Howard Stern. And I am befuddled as to the thinking behind putting this disgusting piece of junk behind the judges’ desk of such a family show. So … I am not sure what to do here. Bones, 8 p.m., Fox Season finale. Parenthood. Couplehood. Lots of changes for our two this season. Bottom line, decent season, but not great. The…

Survivor: One World, 8 p.m. This started out as a season that was physically painful to watch. But once Colton left, things picked up considerably, and when Kim emerged as a powerful genius, it got really good. Good luck tonight, gang. (Reunion show is at 10.) Celebrity Apprentice, 9 p.m., NBC It was inevitable that Teresa would be fired last week, but I have to say the Lisa offing took me by surprise. Maybe the guy in charge of the bleep button begged Trump to get rid of her, as he had developed carpal tunnel syndrome while managing all her foul-mouthed tantrums. Or maybe they had depleted …

Raiders of the Lost Ark, 8 p.m., Bravo Perfect movie to settle in with the kids on a Saturday night. Because I Said So, 10 p.m., Style “The proud but meddlesome mother of three women tries to find the perfect man for her youngest daughter by placing an online personal ad. Starring Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo.” All this talent, wasted. He’s Just Not That Into You, 6 p.m., USA “Friends and lovers try to navigate their way through the complexities of modern relationships, sometimes misconstruing the true intentions of the opposite sex. Based on the book by Greg …

Riverdance: Live From Beijing, 8 p.m., PBS (check listings) If you were just saying to yourself, ‘Dang, I miss Riverdance,” our friends at PBS have brought back this 2010 performance. Escape Routes, 8 p.m., NBC I missed the whole thing. Oh well. Treasure Island, 7 p.m., SyFy This is the premiere. And since it is on SyFy, I’m not sure if that means halfway through everyone sprouts tentacles and begin extracting the humans to the mother ship for experimentation, or if this is a regular old version. But I do love this story. “After discovering Captain Flint's treasure map, Jim Hawkins finds a …

Rock Center with Brian Williams, 10 p.m., NBC I mocked this. But I watched it last week, and they are doing some really good stuff. So I take it back. Dancing with the Stars, 8 p.m., ABC And so a troubled nation (or really, to be exact, a troubled Elissa) can rest easy now that Nancy Grace has been eliminated. The Headhuntress, 10 p.m., Bravo Oh, Bravo. They will find you a girlfriend, a house, a housewife, a way to de-clutter, and now a job. According to the Bravo website, “With record unemployment continuing to make headlines, everyone could use a personal career coach. But only Bravo has …

The Amazing Race, 8 p.m., CBS You just never know. I thought for sure the brother and sister team would end up at least in the top 4. And yet, fate can be cruel. Tonight, Copenhagen! And bunnies. The Good Wife, 9 p.m., CBS It would be so great if Cary and Peter just started madly making out in the middle of a meeting. I mean, the sexual tension between the two of them is insane. Or Cary and Will. Or Will and Peter. I mean, really. Dexter, 9 p.m., Showtime So … the appearance of Dexter’s brother last week leads me to believe that the Dark Passenger has pushed dear old Dad right out of Dex’s …

Republican Debate, 8 p.m., CBS “GOP presidential primary candidates discuss the issues in Spartanburg, S.C.” Drinking game! My word is … “deficit.” Serendipity, 8 p.m., E! For such a great cast, this is such a bad movie. Sigh. “A man and a woman try to find each other after spending one night together 10 years earlier. Starring John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale, Molly Shannon, Jeremy Piven, John Corbett.” We Have Your Husband, 8 p.m., Lifetime I would know my husband had been kidnapped when I came downstairs in the morning and there were no crumbs and sticky spots on the counter.

Bones, 9 p.m., Fox After all my excitement last week about the return, I missed it!  Turned out it fell off the season pass list somehow. Tonight, “The team identifies the remains of a competitive-eating champion just days before a contest; a brilliant new squint has trouble fitting in; Booth and Brennan try to put themselves in each other's places after a disagreement about the baby.” OK, CSI did that dead competitive eater episode years ago. The X Factor, 8 p.m., Fox The group sing on this show is far, far, far more tolerable that it ever was on Idol, and by that I mean last week we …

The Amazing Race, 8 p.m., CBS We love Amani and Marcus, we really do, and we were saying as the last few minutes of the episode were unfolding how much we would miss them when they are gone. And then … really? Another non-elimination! Between the airport and front gate bunch-ups and the plethora of non-eliminations this season, it is hard for us to stay excited. Tonight, more Malawi, and goats. Goats are always a challenge. And funny. Dexter, 9 p.m., Showtime Not Brother Sam! Why can’t Dex have a friend? Just one! Come on … Homeland, 10 p.m., Showtime OK, so, Brody definitely gave the …

How Do I Look, 8 p.m., Style “Bethany's gothic style is off the charts for a” … wait for it …  “41-year-old.” Beauty and the Beast, 8 p.m., ABCFamily There was a period of about two years when my daughter was entirely obsessed with Beauty and the Beast – like any 4-year-old would be. We watched this movie almost daily. She was Belle for Halloween. At DisneyWorld we waited in a line for 90 minutes to meet her. We went to see it on Broadway. Sigh. I miss that. The Pastor’s Wife, 8 p.m., Lifetime “Mary Winkler becomes the prime suspect in the 2006 shooting death of her husband. Based on a book …

New Girl, 9 p.m., Fox Ladies and gentlemen, IT IS NOVEMBER. When did that happen? HOW did that happen? And what is with all this snow? I feel like Rip van Winkle. Anyway, baseball is over, some team from the Midwest won, and New Girl is back!! I love this show and trust me, you will too. Please watch it. And sing with me, “It’s Jesssss!” Raising Hope, 9:30 p.m., Fox Entertainment Weekly recently did a story on the babies and kids on shows right now and I’m sorry, but the twins who play Hope deserve an Emmy just for smiling all the time. Love this baby(s). Love this show. Love this hour on Fox…

Rock Center with Brian Williams, 10 p.m., NBC You know what we don’t have? We don’t have enough news shows. So thank you, NBC, for adding this one to the mix. Will Ferrell: The Mark Twain Prize, 9 p.m., PBS (check listings) Funny or die? You betcha. “The gala to honor the comic actor features Billie Joe Armstrong, Ed Asner, Jack Black, Matthew Broderick, Gwen Ifill, Adam McKay, Tim Meadows, Conan O'Brien, John C. Reilly, Paul Rudd, Andy Samberg, Molly Shannon and Ben Stiller.” Dancing with the Stars, 8:30 p.m., ABC The Halloween special. I was hoping Chaz and Lacey were going to do a Shrek …

The Amazing Race, 8 p.m., CBS After last week’s episode, in which the Smarter Than The Showgirls Twins TWICE got free cab rides, my 10-year-old sage said this: “Never underestimate the power of blonde hair.” I am taking that as a parenting win. Tonight, the racers head to Malawi, or as we like to call to it, Madonnaland, and all kinds of craziness ensues. It is very hot in Africa, you know. Dexter, 9 p.m., Showtime Wow. They have certainly amped up the gore factor after the last couple of (in retrospect) relatively tame seasons. My husband, who never watches television never mind has never …

Suze Orman’s Financial Essentials, 8 p.m., QVC Is this irony? Zombie Apocalypse, 9 p.m., SyFy One of my favorite time-killers on Facebook is looking at the first five people listed on your friends list on your profile page. Those five make up your Zombie Apocalypse Fighting Team. I usually have an awesome team, but there have been a couple of days when clearly, the zombies would’ve won (no offense, cousin Polly). Zombies: A Living History, 9 p.m., History And for those interested in facts (which, really?), there is this: “Europe's black plague became one of the most-prolific periods for …

Chuck, 8 p.m., NBC The first episode of the last season of the show that I used to love and have not watched in two years. Grimm, 9 p.m., NBC So … this cop is like a fairy tale cop except he doesn’t know it and he is supposed to make sure all the fairy tale monsters don’t commit crimes except he isn’t very good at it because he is just finding out now that it is his job. I’m pretty sure I got that right. Brides of Beverly Hills, 10:30 p.m., TLC Tonight, “An adult film star looks for the perfect dress to renew her vows.” And what is this adult film star’s name, you might ask? Diamond Foxxx. So…

It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, 8 p.m., ABC You know what gets me every time? When Lucy goes out and gets Linus and tucks him into bed. Every. Time. Prime Suspect, 10 p.m., NBC People! I am reading that this is not doing that great in the ratings. This upsets me. It makes me want to occupy … something. Why? Because it is good! Not only is it good because the cases are pretty interesting and off beat but it is good because Maria Bello is playing an actual woman with actual flaws. In body, mind and soul. She is among the most real female characters I have seen since … Maude! And the …

Survivor: South Pacific, 8 p.m., CBS Is Christine the new Matt? And if she is, is that even a good thing, since he didn’t win the money after all that? The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC This show rises to the top with its Halloween episodes. So I am expecting greatness in: Sue’s embarrassing costume and Brick’s social skills group out trick or treating. Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABCAnd huge boos and hisses to Modern Family for airing last year’s Halloween episode instead of making a new one. Boo! Hiss!

The X Factor, 8 p.m., Fox The live shows!!! Personally, I will miss all the votive candles that adorned the four judges’ homes. But I’m sure that is just me. The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC Tonight, “two players reveal a secret.” I’m guessing: They aren’t really fat. The Rachel Zoe Project, 9 p.m. Bravo The season finale, in which Rachel discovers that newborns cannot wear platform shoes.