Not surprising how often "parents" are mentioned by coaches as being "the" issue. Perhaps the practice of "silent Sundays" @ soccer games (where fans aren't allowed to say anything during a youth soccer game) should be instituted at more youth athletic events?

When everyone is given a trophy regardless of how they do, a trophy ends up having no meaning or value. No player or team is truly special when everyone is rewarded in the same manner. Unfortunately the "real world" isn't like this.

As a parent I don't see the need for trophies every season. My daughter has trophies and ribbon in her room that don't mean anything. Honest praise from her coach means a lot more.

You need to coach the parents as well as the kids. Talk to them at the first practice and let them know what's going to happen, what the goals are and what's expected of them. Make sure you have a lot of heads nodding so you're comfortable that they have gotten the message. Update the parents on their childs progress and perhaps give them pointers on how they can help their child improve. Yes coach the kids and also the parents.

Of course kids are given trophies at every touch of a ball. They are "awarded" for graduating preschool, Kindergarten, Middle School, High School. One of the most ridiculously lavish parties I have ever seen was for a kid who received his belt in Karate. WE were EXPECTED to do our best with no accolades. If you didn't win the championship, you received NO trophy, no ribbon, just a pat on the back or a ruffling of the hair and told "we'll get 'em next year". PARENTS not kids expect the trophies.

Anyhow, Lin, I used to love the Silent Sundays. Some parents would have to go to their cars to scream so as not to get tossed from the sidelines.

To the Dad I heard at last years Labor Day Soccer Shootout who told his daughter that she sucked as a soccer player and he was ashamed of her.......YOU SUCK!

There are a lot of great coaches comments.

I really appreciate Coach B's comment about early specialization. My daughter fought the battle of playing other sports – which she also enjoyed – while doing club gymnastics at a very high level, until she got to high school and decided to continue as a 3-sport athlete, but only with her high school teams during their seasons. My son is in 8th grade, and plays both soccer and baseball all year round with premier and travel teams, as well as rec basketball. He loves to play all of these sports, and playing multiple sports makes him a better all around athlete. But, we always dread the conflicts with coaches who think their sport has to be a priority. I hope none of his coaches are reading this!

To the comment about "segregating" kids too early based on ability, I would add a similar concern: segregating kids too early by gender. Having been involved for many years in youth soccer as both a parent and a coach in Michigan, where athletes play on co-ed teams through elementary school and sometimes beyond, I was surprised to discover how early our soccer players are divided into boys' and girls' teams here. Many of the better players on my Kindergarten and 1st grade teams were girls, and it was good for boys AND girls to have that experience together. I remember my son being justifiably upset when he could no longer be on the same team with any of those girls because co-ed teams stop at U-8, and I believe such early segregation does a disservice to both genders.

Things I learned from playing rec sports while growing up:

-Parents lose their minds when adolescents play with any type of ball in an organized manner.
-It is important to be related to the coach OR to be friends with someone related to the coach
-Competition is more important than learning the importance of physical fitness
-It is acceptable for grown ups to yell at children; it builds character
-You only get to eat pizza if you WIN the game
-Even the worst players sometimes get the winning hit/goal/basket

Sorry if this seems overly negative, but I'm just drawing on my own experiences here. I played multiple sports my entire life- through high school. I've had my share of both good AND bad coaches. It just seems like, again from MY experience, rec sports bring out the worst in people.

I agree with the coach who said the trophies don't mean anything. They don't. Just ask any kid. I also agree that some coaches are the problem also. Boy do I have some good stories about that including one not being allowed to coach again.. On the other hand, I know some great coaches also. Either way, I appreciate that they stepped up to the plate and volunteered to coach our kids.

RE: Specialization
Agree wholeheartedly with this criticism. First, if you look at the biographies of most professional atheletes and/or D-1 athletes you will find that the overwhelming majority excelled at more than one sport. In fact, if you talk to college coaches that is a criteria they use when deciding, which athlest to pursue. Second, very few if any kids in town will rise to play at the professional level. How many NFL, NBA, MLB, or NHL players came from West Hartford (pick any town) in the last 10 years. "MAYBE" there is one future big-leaguer in town. This comment is for the parents to consider when encouraging kids to participate in more then one sport. I wouldn't presume to throw any cold water on a kid's dream. That is really the point. Let the kids play the sport that is in season and let them dream. Let the base hit to right field at Wolcott bring as much joy as it would at Fenway. Let the 2-pointer at Sedgwick count as much as the 2-pointer at Gampel. Encourage the goal or touchdown to bring satisfaction and love to the child. Let them dream, but put your (me too) dreams in the closet.

For any sports, the kids must enjoy the event. All players must feel important for the team. Young players have limitations as well has their team. Working up to their potential, the players will be succesful in many ways along with the team. Few young players will ever make it to the top levels. To succeed at their level and work to raise their level of play to the next step is a lifetime learning process. While coaching youth travel soccer for many years, the post game comments and rewards greatly overshadowed all the end of the season participation trophies. After each match, win or lose, the team captions picked a player or two to receive a team pin for their effort in that game. Then as coach, I picked a player or two. To recieve a pin was important to all the players. A team pennant was handed out to the player as he/she joined the team. Every earned pin was attached the the pennant. Coach and peer recognition was very important to the players. By the end of season, no matter the final record, individual skill level improved, the enjoyment of the game increased and all players earned pins showing their extra effort and the team was a success. Then we all win.

I was fortunate enough to play youth basketball at a very high level. One thing my coaches always stressed was that it was a team from the starting five right down to the bench players who saw little game action. Win or lose, we entered and exited the court as a team and everyone was recognized as a contributor in practice the next day. The parents fell right in line with that. Unfortunately, that is not the case in every program.

Having played every organized sports available growing up (plus a ton of neighborhood "sandlot"), and doing some coaching, the most important "things" I recall from the experiences are summed up in two John Wooden quotes:

If you lost, but you played your best, then you didn't really lose."

“A player who makes a team great is more valuable than a great player."

Unfortunately many don't try to instill the Wooden basics.

Silent sidelines started in many places as a way to quiet coaches down as well as parents. It is GREAT to see how well a team can perform when they are self directed.
A great coach at a middle school I taught at commented that he coached during practice and at the games his job was to be a cheer leader and let the student perform what they learned. Mistakes and weaknesses would be covered at the next practice.

That is the educational approach to coaching and sports. I always hopped all the coaching I did when my five kids were learning to drive would pay huge dividends when I was not in the car with them but rather on the sidelines watching. Kind of like coaching a sport.

One other thing. The 2-on-1 drills started in fifth grade, continued through middle school and high school and into college. So, logically, basketball is the answer as to why I can now handle toddler twins.

I used to coach Pop Warner Cheerleading and my biggest complaint with Youth Leagues is the Parents. They think that it's a daycare. They get 2 hours free from practice and games. I'm not saying all parents just drop off and pick up but a lot do. I can't even tell you how many times I'm stuck waiting for a parent to arrive to pick up their child and say I'm sorry I lost track of time, or I was stuck in traffic or the best I was stuck in line at the grocery store... Really??? And most time it was between 20-30 minutes they were late! I used to say to myself trying to be respectful.. "Why weren't you here, cheering on your child, supporting your child?" Why is it me that has to say, "You did a great job Sally, or Jane" I'm not the parent. Then the best part, these parents are not there for their kids and yet they are the 1st to complain about the league. I find it so funny you have so much to complain about but yet your not there cheering and supporting your kids.

My daughter is 18 now. I went to every practice, every game and every competition from the age of 7 until now as she is a senior in high school. I can't imagine her being out on the field and her turning around not looking in the stands to see me. Because that's what these kids do. They look for their parents, they want their parents.

So before you complain about any sporting league, be there at every practice and every game. Get involved. You can have a voice, if you attend!

Sports in general are sinking lower and lower. Adults are way out of control.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/wife-beaten-rangers-fan-appalled-bystanders-allowed-philadelphia-220834946.html

Keep your comments coming. I love other view points.

Each of these coaches make a valid and excellent point. I especially agree with the "Everyone gets a trophy" argument. Rewards should be earned,not expected.

I asked my 13 yr old son which of his trophies meant the most to him (he has championship and participation trophies). He thought about it for a moment and his response was "None". I think kids are so bombarded with trophies that when they receive one that was truly deserved the importance has been diminished by the proliferation of participation trophies. Trophies are becoming on a par with after game snacks.

Ron, I was always disappointed that a certain youth football league never handed out championship trophies.

Farmington Little League hands out championship trophies. The year my son's team won he received a trophy from the league, and right after that the manager handed him a participation trophy. Unbelievable.